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Temple meditation

[Introduction] one day, I found myself kneeling in front of Bodhisattva every night, praying devoutly for her. No matter in the night with thunder or in the calm night, I would always mutter to the Bodhisattva to chant scriptures for her.

It rained heavily outside the door, and the roof was filled with the ticking of raindrops. The rain came without warning, just like all the joys and sorrows in the world, which always made people feel unprepared. Sitting alone in the Buddhist temple, I felt lonely and just wanted to find a moment of peace here. Suddenly, a gust of cold wind blew past, and floated into the door with the rain silk, which wet my iPad keyboard and my face. Looking at the bodhisattva dressed in gold, with a kind of compassion, it seemed to stare at me silently. His half-open eyes seemed to ask me what on earth I couldn’t let go. I wanted to say something but stopped. The sad past hidden in my heart was suppressed by me fiercely, and I didn’t let it leak out. Because, everything is done knowing that it cannot be done. I prayed silently in my heart, hoping Bodhisattva could forgive my fault. I also pray that bodhisattva can bless the one in my heart, and bless her happiness in this life, no disaster and no difficulty. But I beg her to enter and enter safely, even if I have no chance to see her in this life, my wish is enough… Thinking of the promise made to bodhisattva to let her through the difficulties, I felt that at least I had done something for her. Since then, on the fifteenth day of the lunar calendar, I have been a vegetarian. What makes me so determined and what makes me make decisions that affect my whole life? Now, I seem a little vague. Maybe, she really made me pity at that time, and I just wanted to protect and care for her with the power of my whole life. Now, she has gone through the rain, but I fell into the abyss because of losing. Emotional things are just unreasonable. At the beginning, I was willing to give everything for a good friend and a confidante, just to walk side by side with her and accompany her through the gloomy days. It was the trick of God, or they were not firm enough to each other. A beautiful friendship bloomed a bright rainbow, though gorgeous, it was short-lived. When the night gradually falls, the Rainbow also gradually disappears in the darkness with the sunset. The bright moon, put on a gentle dress for the Earth, star, blinked, silent. Silence replaced the ringing of phone short messages, and missing replaced the words of caring each other. Since then, being forced by life is like a stranger. Although full of sorrow, I can only tell to the dark sky. Every care, every sleepless night, only the faint sadness in my heart can be counted in the words, only hoping to drive away all the melancholy one by one. She is as calm as water. She has returned to normal life. However, I was still wandering at the crossroads, confused and helpless, and didn’t know which direction to go. Sometimes, I really doubt whether I am too emotional or unwilling to face the reality. As a result, the burden kept suffocating itself. One day, I found myself kneeling in front of Bodhisattva every night, praying devoutly for her. No matter in the night with thunder or in the calm night, I would always mutter to the Bodhisattva to chant scriptures for her. Am I too persistent, or do I love her too much? Did I not know how to put it down, or did I choose to escape? I don’t know. The raindrops outside the door are still constant, the dignified Bodhisattva is still quiet, but my heart is ups and downs in this quiet place. I think, if bodhisattva can speak, what will he say to me? With his merciful heart, he would definitely not want to see me spoil himself so much, and would certainly give me a blow, making me sober, continue to move forward, no longer look back, no longer sentimentally attached to the past. I also thought. Reluctantly, I tried many ways and tried many ways. When everything stopped, she would enter my mind and my heart silently. Therefore, day after day, year after year, I am silent behind the world, lonely with words, lonely into the darkness of every night

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