Tag: 上海俄罗斯菜微信ZEP

Dream and want

I thought of dream and freedom in July of 2004, which suffered many blows. For a long time, I always thought that what I longed for was just freedom, just a leisurely and loose day with my own hobbies. However, under the circumstance that the wrong filling of the volunteer form led to no chance with the undergraduate course, I felt the intense emptiness and helplessness after my dream was shattered. Finally, I understand that the so-called freedom is the relaxation and carefree after the dream is realized. Without dreams, no matter how long freedom is, it cannot make you happy. Just like a beggar on the roadside, at the corner of the street and at the end of the world, even if he is free all his life, who can say that he is full of interest? So I remembered the dream about Shanghai and the countless days when I wrote the names of those universities on the papyrus. I think of seeing Guo Jingming write about the prosperity of Shanghai in the past, seeing saliva waving in my mouth, thinking of Han Han’s publicity in Shanghai, thinking of those budding children from Shanghai, thinking of my dream about writing, do I still have the power to go to Northwest University again to sing the wish of making the world prosperous and gorgeous? Finally I came up with the connection between dream and freedom. I have been asking myself these days, are you brave enough and durable enough to hold on? I always look blank every time. Facing my friend bin, I need to be attached like a morning glory. I am always used to treating myself as a child who needs to be taken care of by others to avoid any difficulties that may occur. When I watched TV that day, I heard a few inspiring advertising words: in fact, the so-called dream-chasing is to ignite the fire for the 101th time after experiencing 100 times of despair. Let the faith persist, dream, always realization. I can. There are too many reasons pushing me into the era of continuing fighting. Shanghai, which I desire for, seems to be fresh and bright in a flash. I feel that I am just like the warrior Si Si in Zhou Jianing’s works, bravely enough to take up arms again to kill and drive away the thorns blocking my way. Then, in June of May, what kind of flowers will bloom fiercely?! Second, I don’t know what I should do to spend the summer of this year. In other words, I am always too lazy to think about such questions and just keep my mind blank at home. Since the end of June 8, my summer has begun, and I have never made any plans for it, and I have never thought about the state I should have, everything happened without order. I began to feel tired of many things, even including music and words. Pu Shu’s cleanness and Han Han’s humor are not so attractive any more. I put them in one corner of the desk quietly, and then watched them covered by dust quietly. In the past, I always hoped that I could live a very artistic life, but now, I hope nothing can disturb me. Even the repeater I borrowed with great interest, I never touched it after I brought it. Like the July “Bud” I bought, the magazine that must read every issue is almost August now, but I haven’t even read an article. I don’t know how I become like this now. Where is the child who secretly watched “Chang’an chaos” and listened to “giving birth to summer flowers” in his memory in class? Why do you have to take great interest when it is not suitable to do, but give up easily when it is time to do it? There is an empty passion but it is always suppressed by life, or under the free life, it loses the enthusiasm of the past. Which on Earth is the more real me? Bin called that day. He said he would not come back again and asked if I could go to Xi’an to find him. After I promised, I couldn’t give a definite day. At first, he said he would go before he volunteered to fill in the report, but now he was about to get the notice, but he still stayed at home. I don’t know what has tied myself up. Aren’t I the one who always regards friendship as extremely important? Aren’t you always longing for the warmth of close relatives among friends? I want to find out what the problem is. I even filled in the volunteer form on the 25th in a muddle. The major of English is not what I am interested in either. It’s just a good study. For a long time, I just slept, woke up and washed my face, and then went to eat fried rice with eggs cooked by my mother. I never thought about any change. It seemed that there was nothing wrong with such a day. I don’t want anything, it’s just a cycle of action. Maybe the previous life was too depressing. I needed a transitional period before entering another life. In this transitional period, nothing is no longer so important, and I don’t want to take care of a lot of things such as hobbies, friends, prospects and so on. A completely relaxed, simple to idle life.

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