Month: February 2015

Commitment buried at the foot of the mountain

[Introduction] hearing this news, my eyes were full of tears, and I ran to the foot of the mountain where my grandmother was buried sadly. I fell down on my grandmother’s grave on my knees and put my face on the stone and said to the grandmother in the grave: Grandma, I’m sorry, I didn’t fulfill the promise of that year, I didn’t take you out of this heavy mountain or that mountain, the dense jungle, the abrupt peaks and the secret curved forest trail. In the four seasons when the streams are flowing, the flowers are fragrant, and the green forests and purple bamboos in the lush valleys are blooming with each other. The dangerous show of the high mountains has sharpened the mountain people who are not afraid of hardships and hardships, and also forged grandmother’s firm heart like a rock. As a child I often sent to grandma’s home. My grandmother lived in a remote mountain, where people were inaccessible and desolate, and the small thatched cottage piled up by rocks did not avoid wind and rain. A clay pot, an iron Basin, a kettle for boiling water, several yellow quilts and several homemade wooden benches are the main belongings of the whole family. Although all these made people feel extremely embarrassed and embarrassed, Grandma cleaned up the place very clean. My grandmother, who was over 50 years old, lived here alone since my grandfather and uncle went away with the Red Army. The barrier of thousands of mountains and mountains annihilated the figure of distant relatives and lengthened the heart of caring and missing each other. There has been no news about this, until now. My mother was afraid that my grandmother would be depressed and ill, so she sent me to my grandmother who was the most obedient among the children, so that she would not think about those sad things all day long. Grandma’s favorite things are cutting firewood and folding quilts. At that time, in the daytime, my grandmother carried me up the mountain to cut firewood with a basket of homemade bamboo sticks. We talked and laughed all the way. My grandmother often told me stories about wolves, which scared me to tremble with my small face flushed, pull the basket tightly with both hands. In order to amuse me, Grandma deliberately told me a funny joke about the monk marrying a wife, which made me giggle. After reaching the top of the mountain, my grandmother put me down, and then stood on the high huge stone, looking towards the distance quietly, while I looked at my grandmother quietly on one side. Several times I saw her with tears all over her face, crying bitterly. I also cried with her. My grandmother heard my crying and immediately wiped away my tears from the stone. She held me in her arms, stroked my head with her hand and said vigorously: It’s all my grandmother’s fault, it scares you, it’s because grandma is not good. After crying, he pulled me down the mountain and cut firewood. The way down the mountain was silent, only the sound of our walking echoed in the valley. In fact, I didn’t understand why Grandma went up the mountain to cut firewood every day, nor why she cried bitterly at the high cliff. In the evening, Grandma always coaxed me to sleep first, while she folded the quilt again and again under the kerosene lamp. There were several times when I woke up from my sleep, I saw my grandmother lying in a trance, which was covered by my uncle and also what he often did at home. The wet corners of my eyes and haggard appearance were deeply branded in the most immature memories of my childhood. The days soaked in tears the nightmare of missing turned into pain ravaged grandma’s slim and pedantic body and mind. Later I asked my mother, and she said that it was because my grandmother missed my grandfather and uncle too much that she did this. As I grew older, I became clearer about my grandmother. During the summer of junior high school, I went to my grandma’s home again, chatting and answering with my lonely grandma. The white hair added to my forehead, the painful and rusty appearance and a pair of dim eyes all made me feel extremely sad and sad. As before, nothing changed in grandma’s house. The table, bench and quilt were all placed in the original position, but there was only one more dog. Grandma said that her ears were not good and she couldn’t hear clearly. If someone came, the dog would scream, so she could know. When she said this, a trace of pain appeared in the corner of grandmother’s eyes. In fact, we all know that grandmother has been waiting here alone for so many years just to wait for the day when those relatives who have gone far away can go home. At the end of time, missing turns into a painful weight increasing day by day. My grandmother and I went up the mountain to cut firewood that day. We kept silent all the way. Sometimes we just smiled at each other at the moment when our eyes crossed. For more than ten years, the smile I have never seen and the expression fading out in my grandmother’s life have flashed slightly inadvertently. Maybe it is because of time that the painful heart gradually stops and becomes numb. Finally I opened my mouth, and I said to my grandmother who was stumbling: Grandma, one day I will take you out of this heavy mountain to look for my uncle and grandfather who went far away. Grandma looked at me in surprise and walked forward without answering. I repeated my grandmother that one day I would find my grandfather and uncle. Maybe they were on the other side of the mountain and forgot their way home. Grandma wiped the corners of her eyes with her hands, and the pain of missing overflowed with the moment of tears falling down. Years of depression and helplessness seemed to have a landing and determination here, and she could no longer control it. Tears were like rain, the quiet valley was turbulent with grandmother wailing bitterly. After crying, grandma looked at me with a little cowardice, her eyes flushed and her withered corners of mouth trembled slightly. I also burst into tears and sat on the ground. It is a real grandmother, and I will realize this wish one day. I said with tears. Grandma nodded deeply with one hand holding the tree, and wiped away tears with one hand. She still murmured that they must be still alive. We didn’t go up to the top of the mountain that day, and we cried quietly on the hillside, until the sun is going to set. On the way down the mountain, we held each other tightly. Just like when we were young, Grandma told the story of wolves again, but this time he told a real wolf. It was also in this mountain that he met Grandpa. She was just followed by a wolf that day. On the fork of the punishment, another wolf followed up. Two Wolves went hand in hand. Just when they were about to be attacked by wolves, they met grandpa who was hunting. Since then, she often came to this road, waiting for her grandfather here, and tears fell down as she was talking. I asked her why the wolves in the Mountain didn’t stay here all the time as the village moved. She replied that there was a smell of grandfather on the road. The Wolves dared not come. My grandmother told me many stories about my grandfather, uncle and mother that summer vacation, and also told me the happiness and happiness of the family. Nothing can reshape all this without turning back to the good days. Time turns everything into a bubble, but it does not wipe a person’s painful memory and heavy heart, changing love and happiness. Fortunately, after graduating from high school, I walked out of the mountain with my luggage on my back and came to the bustling city. I left with my grandmother’s anxious and festive hope. Here I saw a world far from my hometown, colorful neon lights, bright and dazzling high buildings, motorcycles and cars walking like flying. Vehicles and pedestrians came and went in an endless stream on the noisy and crowded streets. There is no doubt that I came from the mountains and the city seemed to be out of tune with me. I, who was gray-headed and dusty, only had the cat plucked up the courage to move forward slowly. I began to work part-time in small shops to earn living expenses like other classmates, and sometimes I also strolled around some fashionable supermarkets and shopping malls. The colorful world makes me feast my eyes and forget to leave. I often call home to ask about my grandmother’s situation. My family always says everything is fine. Although sometimes I often thought that in the anti-Japanese War, Chinese and foreign officials and uncles might have sacrificed for a long time, I still wanted to take my grandmother out of the heavy mountain one day and let her put her missing heart further through the mountain. It took eight years to leave home, and it took eight years to take root and support outside. I went home in the ninth year. I didn’t know my grandmother had passed away for two years until I got home. It was my family that kept it from me, and this was also my grandmother’s last words. My mother said that since I left, my grandmother had been looking forward to the news that I could bring back my grandfather and uncle. In the first two years, my grandmother came to my house with her feet turned around, and then her body slowly deteriorated in the next two years, I came with a crutch for a long time, but later I didn’t come when my legs and feet were not easy to walk. Your father and I went to visit her in turn and said something about you. She didn’t want to move here to live with us. She was worried that no one would look at the house. If someone came and there was no one at home, the waiting for so many years would be wasted in vain. When she was about to die, she suddenly mentioned the phone and you, telling us not to tell you her death. In this way, she looked at the door and left quietly. Hearing this news, my eyes were full of tears, and I ran to the foot of the mountain where my grandmother was buried sadly. I fell down on my grandmother’s grave on my knees and put my face on the stone and said to the grandmother in the grave: Grandma, I’m sorry, I didn’t fulfill the promise of that year, I didn’t take you out of this heavy mountain and set off with my grandmother’s portrait when I stepped on the journey again. At the moment I bypassed the end of the landscape, I said to my grandmother, from now on, I will accompany you to find the whereabouts of my grandfather and uncle. Maybe there is still no place to go, but I just hope that the distance between your mountains and rivers can be shortened by one paragraph.

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Tomb

Today, I came to your grave and wanted to burn some paper money for you, holding a handful of new soil, sprinkling a few lines of hot wine, serving a few bowls of cooked meat and a few plates of fruits. For seven years, we have been separated from each other forever, and we can only meet each other in dreams. The fleeting time brings your body into the afterlife, leaving my missing for you in this life. In this early autumn afternoon, the hot sunshine, luxuriant flowers and trees, and noisy cicadas wrapped your tomb. Seeing these in front of me dispelled my worries and fear that you would be lonely. On that winter day seven years ago, you lay on the sickbed, stretching your trembling fingers to me. I knew you had a lot to say to me. Walking to the couch, you held my hand with all your strength and refused to loosen it for a long time; The sputum in your throat made you speechless, and I only heard the sound of snoring. At that moment, I burst into tears. The next morning, you left with your attachment to the world and infinite concern for your relatives. I remembered that it was extremely cold that morning, and the people who came to see was filled with the courtyard. Beside the wet face, sobbing voice and plain filial piety told me again that you had gone, and you could never talk and laugh with me, nor eat with me, you can no longer walk with me hand in hand, and you can no longer watch flowers and enjoy the moon with me. You suffered a lot before your death. I heard from my father that when you were thirteen or fourteen years old, you went to Kwantung just to eat and fill your stomach. I have never been to Kwantung. Through learning geography, I know that the temperature there is low, and there are only three to five warm months all year round. Since I can remember, I have seen your lame foot. Your lame foot is caused by the fact that your developing body does not adapt to the climate of Kanto. In this way, you walked for more than 60 years with lame feet before the coronation. I can’t forget the scene when I was sent to school for the first time: I was seven years old that year, and I was at the same age as a normal child. That day, my parents happened to be unable to send me to school, so you took the responsibility of sending me to school. Along the way, you held my hand for fear that the traffic would hurt me. Seeing the pedestrians cast their eyes at us again and again, I noticed that they were looking at your lame foot. At that moment, I broke free from your hands and ran forward alone. How I wish you have the same legs and feet! I am afraid of being laughed at by others. In the seven years after you left, I shed tears every time I think of this moment. I guilty! Now when I want to hold your hand again and walk with you for a while, it becomes a distant dream. You say goodbye to the world and come to the gate of hell, step on the road paved by flowers on the other bank, walk to the Naihe bridge and see the Sansheng stone beside the bridge. What do you want to write down most on the Sansheng stone? I want you to write down the reviews of the afterlife and me on this stone, and let me be a relative with you again. However, there are many immortals in the Yellow River under the bridge. I think you will not fall into the Yellow River and become the immortals who cannot be Immortals before your death. At the other end of the Naihe bridge, there was a Meng Po, holding a bowl of soup made of ingratiating water in her hand. After crossing the bridge, you also have to drink. I just want you to drink less, so that you can remember me after reincarnation in the afterlife. People die like lights off, but I often feel your existence. A car accident happened to me in 2008, which made me unable to get out of bed for half a year. At that moment, my heart was extremely depressed and I felt that I was the most unfortunate in the world. During this period of time, I met you again in my dream. Seeing your kind face, you lifted your lips as if you were saying to me: Kid, be strong! It will get better soon. That was in the morning of the next day, I regained my spirit and actively cooperated with the doctor for treatment. With my active cooperation, I got better soon. I know that you have been looking at me in the sky. My life was left by you in front of the Lord of hell. The partition is the distance between you and me, and the constant separation is the affection between you and me. When you leave, there are not many houses in your family. Our family of four lives in a narrow courtyard. I want to tell you that our family has built several more houses some time ago. If you come home again, don’t be afraid that you can’t find your home. I will hold your hand in front of the door and step into the courtyard. Let you sit in the most spacious and bright room. Today, when I come to your tomb, I want to tell you that I will visit you often, add some new soil to you, bring a few bottles of good wine, and burn some paper money, tell you what we haven’t finished in this life grandpa, grandson misses you! May everything be fine for you in heaven!!!

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I suddenly look back, unconsciously I have reached middle age

How many years of ups and downs, how many years of seasonal changes, less worldly longing romance, less carefree bright smiling face, suddenly looking back, unconsciously has reached middle age! Time flies, and the annual rings of time have entered the pace of middle age. Looking back yesterday, I suddenly found that I had changed from an ignorant girl to a middle-aged woman. A little unwilling, a little suddenly, everything came quietly like this. Standing in front of the mirror, looking at myself who was no longer young carefully, the trace of time had been quietly left on my face. What passes along at any time is the endless childlike fun and happiness of childhood, the flowery appearance and impulse of youth, and the wrinkles on the face and the maturity of mind that accompany the years! When women reach middle age, they finally understand that love is not the main melody of life! All the romantic love of cherry blossoms is just a moment of gorgeous glory, and that romantic event will only occasionally flash a romantic scene in my mind when watching TV series. Looking at the young boys and girls in the street walking close to each other, I felt that scene was so familiar, but it seemed to be such a distant past. Middle-aged women no longer desire for any earthshaking love, no longer want to love to death. Having a happy life, the consideration of husband, the happiness of children and the health of parents are the greatest comforts for middle-aged women. Middle age, years know autumn! Listening to those familiar old songs, thinking of the past, I am deeply touched. We can’t change the annual rings of years, but we can express our inner joys and sorrows with the help of words. It is always inevitable, whether you accept or resist. Before you get old, what you can do is to be yourself. Touching those yellow photos and those dusty diaries for a long time, maybe that kind of feeling seems bitter rather than sweet, just like thick bitter coffee, with the rising smoke encompassing the beauty and pain of the past. Some people and some things have gone away with time. Remember that they are just passers-by in your life. Because of them, life has an extra experience, which warms eyes and enriches memory. There is no reason to blame the past, let alone the future. When you cry and shout that you don’t want to grow old, you ‘d better calm down and close your eyes. Think about your ignorance and high spirits when you were young. Maybe the smile in your heart has a long aftertaste. The surging tears accompany you through time and space to find the spiritual home! Middle-aged women are no longer like young women who are dreaming all day long and no longer imagining the future aimlessly. I always thought that youth would last forever. I always thought that Prince Charming in my heart would ride a white horse to his side, indulged wildly with the signboard of youth, and made illusory dreams with the brilliance of face. I no longer like listening to the rain as I did when I was young, and I like to walk quietly in the rain, letting the light rain soak my dry heart, and I no longer like to chant Dai Wangshu’s “Rain Lane”! Young people have the vitality of spring, young people have the enthusiasm of summer, middle-aged people have the maturity of autumn, and old people have the plain of winter. Although we can’t refuse the aging of appearance, we can resist the aging of mind. As long as we keep a forever young heart, life will keep fresh blood, and life will keep intoxicating fragrance! Time flies, and in a blink of an eye, she has entered middle age. She is no longer the girl who is full of confidence, with hope and chasing dreams. Inadvertently, our youth is deprived by work and family. Middle-aged a lot of emotion! Yes, middle age is coming like this, and it is so indisputable! Stepping into middle age, I also said goodbye to the year of standing and not confused. Responsibility, stability, maturity have become the theme of middle-aged people. The fruits of young life also become so mature and plump; The handy work experience and experience make middle-aged people more confident; There are also more sensibility and rationality in their life. People who step into middle age are more or less eager for a kind of craziness in their hearts, but they can only be crazily in their hearts many times, because there are more responsibilities and public opinions among each other! The trace of time will more or less remain on middle-aged people. Most of the time, I found that youth really won’t last forever in the mirror. When life comes to this station, even if you don’t succeed, you will also deeply understand the ups and downs of life. There is a vicissitudes and bitterness that you don’t want to disclose, but a kind of solemnity and stability. What is waiting for us in middle age will be more kinds of pressure, which will never stop like a river of history. Our colorful spring has passed, so let’s seize the time and enjoy all kinds of fun in life more! Every middle-aged man is like a beautifully bound book with endless vivid stories. If you randomly select a book, it will be thought-provoking and cover your thoughts. Looking for the road of life that middle-aged people have gone through, you will clearly find that the footprints left behind them are floating and magnificent, leaving not only wandering and faltering steps, the heroic and vigorous steps were printed again. Although they were deeply burdened, they were mature and firm. There is one thing in common among the different life experiences of middle-aged people, that is, on them, what gradually fades away is the naivety in passion, while what gradually increases is the steady maturity! When people reach middle age, they know how to replace the promise like wind with actions, cherish time when shaking hands with sunshine, and praise the brilliance of women with the affection of flowers, know how to surround the tall mountains with the gentleness of running water. Without the beauty of singing and dancing, without the domineering spirit of taking the spring scenery into my heart, there are some refreshing wisdom and aura, and some natural and elegant manners and grandeur between gestures! After passing through 40 years of life in a hurry, I stepped into the middle age like autumn by accident. The thick autumn meaning was a little deep, and the forest was covered, which shouldered the heavy responsibility of being old and young; on the branch of the fruit, we taste the happiness of successful career and warm family; After seeing through the prosperity and gloom, the steps of life will gradually step towards the cold winter with snow dancing and fragrant fragrance! Middle-aged people are as quiet and beautiful as autumn leaves. They come, go and get along with each other lightly, giving people peace and slight desire to live a simple and smelly life. Give yourself the best mood, quietly and happily, enjoy every character on the road of life, enjoy every scenery on the road of life, enjoy every thing on the road of life, enjoy every separation and reunion in your life, and enjoy your only life! When people reach middle age, more than half of their lives will go far along the hard journey. When people reach middle age, they will feel bitter and happy, leaving many regrets of guilty and heartache. Middle age is the most hot age, the most successful age, The Age connecting the preceding and the following, the most valuable age, the most abundant age and the age of harvest, it is also the most attractive age

Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the snow in spring

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Doing good is zeng shang

[Introduction] Wang Fengyi, a good man, said: There are three villains in the world, not including thieves. If you are not good at preaching and never change your mistakes, you will be the first-class villain; If you suffer a little loss, you will feel sad, and if you take advantage of it, you will feel happy. You will be the second-class villain; If you are not separated, if you know you can’t do it, you will never forget it. If you know you can’t do it, you will do it secretly. You are the third kind of wicked person. When it comes to practice, it usually focuses on chanting sutras, chanting mantras, meditation and meditation. At first, I felt that this kind of practice has made rapid progress. One year, two years, three years and five years have passed, and I know a lot about Buddhism, meditation is also very experienced, but I think the progress is getting slower and slower, and it seems that I have been standing still. Later, I suddenly realized that practice should be improved. Doing good deeds is the key. It is useless to chant scriptures instead of doing good deeds. Doing good is to increase, this is the big secret! What is good? Many people think it is a good thing to volunteer in the temple, to release life is a good thing, to give money is a good thing, and to print scriptures is a good thing, but they often do evil unconsciously. Once, I took two female lay-ins to the temple. They brought some fruits and cakes for Buddha, because they had read the book “water knows the answer” and knew that the offerings were very energetic, moreover, the statue of Buddha in this temple is very solemn. They want to bring these offerings back to their children to eat when they go home, so as to make them all lucky and happy. It was the first time for them to come to this temple. I took them to worship Buddha, visit the temple and have lunch in the temple. When I went back at noon, I wanted to take the offerings I brought, but I found that the door of the hall had been closed and the Masters had already gone to lunch break. I explained the situation to a resident layman, hoping that she would find the master in charge to open the door of the hall and ask the two female laymen I brought to take out the offerings. This resident lay-in has been a volunteer in the temple for more than ten years, giving strength to cook and money to shape the Buddha. After listening to my explanation, this resident lay-in said: how can I take back the things for Buddha? With an upright look, the two female lay-men I brought said to me: how much is a few fruits and cakes worth? Just because the gift is very energetic, I want to take it home for the children to eat. So they went home unhappy. That resident lay-in thought that she had been doing good deeds for more than ten years as a volunteer in the temple, but she didn’t know that it was evil to make all living beings feel sad. All creatures are happy, Buddha and Bodhisattva are happy! Wang Fengyi, a good man, said: There are three villains in the world, not including thieves. If you are not good at preaching and never change your mistakes, you will be the first-class villain; If you suffer a little loss, you will feel sad, and if you take advantage of it, you will feel happy. You will be the second-class villain; If you are not separated, if you know you can’t do it, you will never forget it. If you know you can’t do it, you will do it secretly. You are the third kind of wicked person. Some people never chant Buddha or read Scriptures in their whole life, but all kinds of auspicious signs when they died showed that they were a Bodhisattva with high cultivation. Why have we been standing still after decades of chanting, chanting, meditation and meditation? There is indeed a big secret in it. What is this big secret? It is more important to practice! What is practice? To do good is to practice. To do good is to increase and directly achieve our Buddha fruit!

Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the snow in spring

Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring…

Waiting

Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. Maybe because of a certain commitment, or because of a certain…

Be good at listening to different voices and opinions

On October 6th, I published a travel essay: “beautiful autumn scenery”, which was obtained by many literary websites…

Read The Bridges of Madison County

“When the white moth spreads its wings, you can come to me at any time”. I think, if I am a man, be accepted…

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I read “the biography of Hulan River” long time ago, and I remember that I was really in a heavy mood for a long time. Which characters caused me…

Sick time

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Aging — also a kind of happiness

5. The inner storm gradually subsided. There is almost no smell like love and hate interweaving. 6. I like standing on the roadside, watching the Street View, and strangers. Author: the night of snow Chan in late autumn is already very cold. Looking up and looking from afar, there are really few stars in The Naked Sky. Out of the window, countless families had put off the lights. In the noisy streets in the daytime, only wandering dogs were barking at this moment. The whole small city became more and more lonely and desolate. Tonight, Xue Xiaochan’s opinion made my thoughts wander for a long time. Stunned for a long time, it seems that each one can match my heart. Children and lovers have fallen into dreams. I chatted with my old classmates on the Internet for a while, but after getting off the line, there was always a trace of sadness that ended up. Is it really old? When I say this, I always laugh at it. But now looking carefully, it is inevitable to have a thousand tastes in my heart. It is not a show of vicissitudes, nor a proper surge. It is a deep reflection after decades of life. Standing at thirty, four is perfect! The ancients were so brilliant that they attached such appropriate names to every age group. Life is getting better, my mood is getting lighter, and life is converging gently in a roundabout turn. Those past, those dreams, those thoughts, those miseries, those delights, and those hollows gradually grow old with the fleeting years. In this period, my complexion and white hair were decadent, and my complexion became old in the spring. My complexion was easy to grow old, and my complexion and white hair I am a woman who liked to find loneliness in the bustle. This is not a good temperament. However, people’s old achievements are always related to their age. What kind of sigh should be made at what age, even though occasionally you can be comfortable, but more often you need to be rational and sober. Getting is happiness, and not getting is also happiness. For some people, since some things are inevitable, then don’t choose to be inexplicable. Sitting, staying, thinking. Time flies so fast that the seven-day holiday is coming to an end in a flash. From being young and ignorant, to being young and flamboyant, and then to being a wife and a mother nowadays, the more books you read, the less words you say. In the indulgence of time, you can feel tender and cold; it can be as warm as jade, or as rough as stone. If you don’t say you are old, it doesn’t mean that time can stop. Life is a single line, forward, forward, walk a journey, less, too much responsibility when bending the back, also suppress the fragile atrium. At such an age, if you don’t want to make friends, you have to accept it; If you don’t want to pour out, you have to do it well; If you don’t have passion, you can’t lose the enthusiasm of a kaleidoscope-like prosperity, which penetrates. It doesn’t matter whether it wins or loses, because what you gain after being stubborn is reason and peace. Heart, once you calm down, you will no longer be cynical when you see any hot and cold weather or when you hear any wind, just like Zen masters sitting around to understand precepts, determinations and wisdom, reciting low to eliminate greed, anger, crazy. After the fickle breath, the cool world in my heart will be more warm and soft. My son asked tonight: Mom, why do you like writing prose so much? I answered at that time: Everyone needs some habits to vent. Some people like running, some people like dancing, some people like playing ball, some people like listening to songs, while the only thing mom likes is reading articles quietly, tu Tu text. Maybe it doesn’t make any special sense, but at least it can give your mind a temporary rest. No matter what happens to a person, the comfort and exhortation of others are external causes. If you really want to be free, you have to rely on yourself. Everyone has to dress and eat, and you have to deal with all kinds of things. I am very pleased, my son has begun to understand these things. Looking at the little guy sideways, he seemed to be a little taller. I was always holding my hand casually on the road where the car came and went. I was always blocked inside when riding, and I dared to make comments on my dressing. The most touching thing is my son’s simple and innocent care when I feel unwell or depressed. If so, what else can I expect. My son grew up healthily and happily, and I was so willing to grow up. As long as you live, you will naturally grow old. Let you once be beautiful, full of flowers and flowers, let you be the best of the world, and you will never escape loneliness and old. The addition of wrinkles will make people cherish, and the whitening of hair will also make people less and less greedy. Living is happiness; Aging is also happiness. It is happiness itself, and there is nothing wrong with it. Thinking of this, I feel at ease. I would like to sit in a rocking chair and grow old slowly. 2011, 10, 6 night

Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the snow in spring

Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring…

Waiting

Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. Maybe because of a certain commitment, or because of a certain…

Be good at listening to different voices and opinions

On October 6th, I published a travel essay: “beautiful autumn scenery”, which was obtained by many literary websites…

Read The Bridges of Madison County

“When the white moth spreads its wings, you can come to me at any time”. I think, if I am a man, be accepted…

From today on, I want to be happy

I read “the biography of Hulan River” long time ago, and I remember that I was really in a heavy mood for a long time. Which characters caused me…

Sick time

I sneezed one after another these days. I said someone was reading me and others said I was sick. Finally, the doctor also said I was…

Contentment

In another year’s Lilac blooming season, I went back to my alma mater again. Looking at this quiet campus and the familiar path, I sighed with emotion in my heart! I have been busy with my work after graduation and seldom have time to come back. But what I see today is still so quiet and elegant, which still makes me sentimental. I can’t remember how many times I have exercised in the light morning mist. The vigorous pace and the smile on my face seem to be as clear as yesterday. The bright sound of reading on campus, accompanied by the crisp Bell, still lingers around my ears. The fragrance of flowers blows with the wind, which blows the heart and spleen. I stayed in the flowers. Besides the bright spring, there was also me immersed in the past. I once remembered that my history teacher told me that a girl should start a career first and then start a family. Only by being independent can she lay a good foundation for the future, and women should not let their men. It was this sentence that inspired me and made me walk steadily, steadily and happily in my future life. Time flies like a shuttle, time flies like an arrow. Now I am in middle age. Without the fantasies of those young years, I am more mature and confident, and now my career is still satisfactory, you can live your favorite life at leisure every day. You can play table tennis, listen to music, read books, and sit in front of the computer after work, listen to my favorite songs, enjoy my favorite pictures, let my thoughts travel among green mountains and waters, and fly freely under the blue sky and white clouds. That mountain and that water all gave me endless inspiration. My heart traveled in the middle of the nature, and people bloomed in the nature. When I experienced life with this quiet mood, the vision has also become wider. Life also becomes more warm and romantic. Thanks to Life for letting me have so much. I am so satisfied that I won’t expect anything more. With the care of relatives, the blessing of friends and the consideration of lovers, all these make me feel so happy and happy, I also wish my middle-aged friends like me to cherish everything they have, both in career and life.

Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the snow in spring

Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring…

Waiting

Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. Maybe because of a certain commitment, or because of a certain…

Be good at listening to different voices and opinions

On October 6th, I published a travel essay: “beautiful autumn scenery”, which was obtained by many literary websites…

Read The Bridges of Madison County

“When the white moth spreads its wings, you can come to me at any time”. I think, if I am a man, be accepted…

From today on, I want to be happy

I read “the biography of Hulan River” long time ago, and I remember that I was really in a heavy mood for a long time. Which characters caused me…

Sick time

I sneezed one after another these days. I said someone was reading me and others said I was sick. Finally, the doctor also said I was…

Interpretation of war

The light blue planet on which human beings depend seems to be becoming more and more restless. Just like I am sitting at home leisurely, facing the open TV and watching the war in Iraq. I know that it is because I live in a peaceful country that I have such elegance and leisure. If I am a member of the country of Iraq and the Middle East, I am could not have such a sense of elegance in the deafening sound of bombing and the horrible environment of returning to the Yellow Spring at any time. I may huddle in the gloomy and dim air-raid shelter or the basement shivering, and live a day when I am hungry for a whole night. Under the huge shadow of the war, every fragile life may be like the fallen leaves in the autumn wind. Maybe the branches of the swaying life suddenly float away at some moment. Fortunately, I am live in a peaceful and quiet country, so I have reason to write some irrelevant words, I can feel the Iraq war thousands of kilometers away through the media, and I can sigh with emotion that I can sympathize with the ordinary Iraqi civilians who have been devastated by the war. I think peace is really amazing, I think human beings are really cruel and strange senior animals. Just like now I can enjoy the fighting and spitting of the same kind calmly. Although I am confused and have many laments, compared with the huge and crazy monster of war, how pale and weak my confusion and sigh are! The only thing I can do is to oppose the war and call for peace, but the war still broke out in a corner of the planet where I live! Of course, I can also smoke and taste tea. I can talk with my friends about the victory or defeat of the Iraq war, and even argue about this theory with saliva flying and red face, but the haze about war had already pervaded my not clear heart, as if the heavy bomb thrown by the United States and Britain on the Middle East was tearing and destroying my sensitive and good nerves! Just like my recent “whimsy”, how wonderful it would be if there were no wars on the earth and if the expenditure of our similar generals were used for the survival and development of human beings! Although my thoughts are almost naive and naive, if the Earth is far away from wars, that silvery dove of peace can fly freely in the sky of thousands of miles. Maybe I haven’t experienced wars, or I haven’t thoroughly understood another dark and cruel side of human nature, just like I can’t understand the ongoing war between the United States and Britain with no suspense to Iraq. You can say the law of the jungle, you can say that you plunder oil resources, you can even say that Americans are too overbearing, but in any case, the Iraq war still lasts when you wake up or sleep, how many kind people were shocked at midnight by the shocking and horrible bloody images about civilian casualties! This was a real killing. Facing the strong enemy’s ancient Babylon, the devout prayers of civilians could not touch the supreme God. Perhaps the self-destruction and salvation of human beings only lie in the degeneration or awakening of human beings themselves. You can leap into the long river of human history, and then look back in awe. On this light blue planet, war has already been a compulsory lesson of our kind. However, facing the unprecedented tragic World War I and World War II, they all proved that a group of our kind was using sharp butcher knives to swing to another group of our kind. So I said that the biggest threat to human beings is not the earthquake, not the tsunami, not the aids that people talk about, but ourselves! When all kinds of sophisticated weapons with powerful lethality came out one after another, tragic scenes of killing without human beings became more artistic and formulaic, just like now I can sit in front of the TV calmly, enjoying the bleeding of my own kind without any damage. Who is manipulating the huge bloody machine of war? Who is carefully feeding the fierce monster of war? Who pushed our kind to the abyss of disaster and death again and again? It is ourselves. When the Iraqi people were ravaged by wars, mothers who lost their children were crying, children who lost their parents were crying, children who lost their schools and families were crying, how many lonely and helpless faces and how many horrified eyes can’t stop the cold shining butcher from far away! However, a piece of spring flower held between the girl’s lips was more like the color soaked in the same kind of blood, which was so scarlet that it was suffocating and desperate. I can have another whim, Is it impossible to have no war in this world? Although peace is a balance of power, politics is a bloodless war and war is a bloodless politics, I have every reason to become a tiny drop of water in the anti-war wave. Bodhisattva can’t bless God can’t bless God can’t bless, only we human beings can save souls that shouldn’t be greedy and sink. Facing the same kind, what we stretch out should be flowers instead of butcher knives, friendship instead of hatred. I think I have started to repeat the same path again. I have ignored the cruel and ugly side of some people in the same kind, what I can explain is that when human beings become more and more like machines and machines, they become more and more like beasts. Although this idea is cruel or even absurd, facing the roaring gunfire in the distance and the helpless moans of civilians, I saw a homeless dove wandering in the sky. I knew it was a dove of peace that I longed for and cherished. I hope it would not fly away from my deep vision. Besides, I could wake up in the depth of midnight, build some insignificant words, and open a pair of blurred and meditative eyes in front of the irresistible disaster. April 4, 2003 (the full text is about 1730 words)

Like (prose editor: prose online) the snow in spring

Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring…

Waiting

Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. Maybe because of a certain commitment, or because of a certain…

Be good at listening to different voices and opinions

On October 6th, I published a travel essay: “beautiful autumn scenery”, which was obtained by many literary websites…

Read The Bridges of Madison County

“When the white moth spreads its wings, you can come to me at any time”. I think, if I am a man, be accepted…

From today on, I want to be happy

I read “the biography of Hulan River” long time ago, and I remember that I was really in a heavy mood for a long time. Which characters caused me…

Sick time

I sneezed one after another these days. I said someone was reading me and others said I was sick. Finally, the doctor also said I was…

“Dream falls and flowers bloom”

[Introduction] I ordered goldfish and wooden fish. Through the lyrics, I joked that one day, wooden fish asked goldfish, “Are you at ease when you swim around all day? What about me, what is the reason for being knocked around day and night? Goldfish said, life is just different. Once it rained heavily outside, my heart was wet. I have to pay for what I have done wrong and bear it. From yesterday afternoon, when I received the phone call about the car accident, I had imagined a lot. As for the result, I didn’t know, so I had to wait. Sometimes I think for myself, how can I fall into such a situation? Taking a shortcut and running away from the door, I finally have no chance with me. Looking back on myself, I have really done a lot of things, but I have never done anything about committing crimes. This time I did it and failed. People are not short-minded, very small, I understand this reason, but driven by interests, I still chose to take a try, and it should be like this. I wanted to change something, but nothing changed. It was not fate that played a trick on me, but I made a joke on fate. In fact, people knew it by themselves. I knew the result from the beginning. The real thing happened and I had to face it. It just came so fast that I was in such a hurry and lost my heart. The occurrence of this thing made me understand better that if there is a hit, there will be one after all. If there is no hit, don’t force it. I think I am ridiculous. People who have done something wrong can also ask themselves whether they are good or bad. It is my restless heart. I am too eager to change something. For so many years, my mind has experienced calmness, calmness and courage to face everything. Even if it is the worst and worst, I am not afraid of pain. It was what I had to do to cover the water and the Earth, and the soldiers came to block it. I no longer valued the quality of the result, and I would never fall down. I asked myself, what would be the trace left in my heart for this matter? It could only be embarrassment and exhaustion. After all, it is a dishonorable thing to count thousands and thousands of times. The development of the situation is no longer under my control. As for the direction of the trend, the expectation will not expand any more, at least leaving me the last face. In my whole life, I care about it very much, just like a friend said that it ruined my great reputation. But the fact is already a shame for those who are willing to be kind. If things develop towards the worst, I am also ready. In these years, many people have laughed at them, one more and one less, just whether their parents’ hearts can still bear it, this is my scruple. Some friends comforted me that it was not a big deal, and it was not a big evil or a big traitor. There was no penalty, but only administrative treatment. I know all these. It’s just that my heart can’t get used to it. Maybe I am really kind, so I have these emotions. I can’t say great things domineering, because I know that I am did something wrong. As for confession, no, I have no harm, just disturbing the order. My partner, who was interviewed by reporters yesterday afternoon, went on TV and came back to tell me that he was famous. Yes, although he said with a smile, the embarrassment behind him could not be hidden more or less. If it was me, what would happen to me, who was also in public office? I didn’t want to imagine it. If I really wanted it, that would be the case. Things went wrong. My common acquaintances with my partners were all talking about how my partner was too careless to make a low-level mistake of driving in the opposite direction and was caught. I knew that his heart was also uncomfortable. For this car, he and I both spent a lot of thoughts. Over the years, he was also so unhappy that who was willing to seek money in the risk if he was happy. Everything belongs to destiny. It is nonsense to say too many useless words. When he was sent home, I didn’t want to say more. His heart should be more chaotic than mine. After all, he faced it directly. I was still behind the scenes and suffered more. I remember once, in the space of a friend, I commented on the emotion after Chongqing Wenqiang was sentenced to death. I said, what else to say? It’s useless to say anything. Two words admit fate. As for how to treat other things that also exist in the society, what complaints do you have and what dissatisfaction do you have in your heart? If you do it, you will admit it unless you do nothing. Of course, my business cannot be compared with this, but no matter how big or small it is, its fundamental principle is the same. You can’t see outside the mountain, you can see inside the mountain, it’s good. I had been occupied for more than ten hours. Although I was soaked in the rain, it was enough to clear the floating dust of my heart and make my heart clearer. Tell yourself, don’t think too much, wait for the development of the situation, and make plans. No matter how things are finally solved, I must solve one thing first and fulfill my promise to my friends. I should thank my friend. Although things didn’t develop towards my expectation and died halfway, I still want to thank her. In these years, I almost lost my desire for things and remained silent for too long. Many years ago, the shadow of economic troubles could not be wiped out, so we chose silence. Let alone the likes and dislikes of the things I do, the precious friendship is enough to move me. The grace of dripping water should be reported by Yongquan. At this time, I can’t be grateful. I should do the minimum principle. From the car accident, I have been planning the way to fulfill my promise in my mind for countless times, in order to be a trust, to fold my wings and not to break my promise. Cao Cao said, Ning I negative language, people of the world can’t I and I am just the reverse, world can negative I, I’m irresponsi world. Yesterday, I talked to the elder sister of the white class about this matter, and the elder sister also accepted it happily. A friend who is hard to trust cannot be lost. Fortunately, everything is not in such a dead end. I told my elder sister that if I had no choice but to drive, I would not have to drive any more. After that, I would do something else. My friend already knew what had happened, and he felt a little guilty. He blamed himself for not supporting me to do so. He wanted me to live a good life, but made a mistake by mistake. This made me more uneasy. It was me who felt guilty. How could it be her? I dare not forget the kindness that sent me a timely help. At the lowest point of my life, I was so lucky to have such help. It’s just a pity that I didn’t use this precious resource on the cutting edge, and I was inclined to take risks and speculation. A friend asked me if I regret it. I said, no regret. In my whole life, I am not willing to regret what I have done. If I do it, I will do it. If I know right or wrong, I will do it. To be honest, many emotions of people are very weak under the economic interests, let alone the acquaintance under the virtual state. This trust is a kind of courage, after all, there are still many invisible things hidden behind the Internet, and the historical experience is also unknown. For the trembling of my heart, how can this sincerity not make me unforgettable forever. Speaking of the initial shortage of funds, I also searched everywhere. No matter who I was close to, there was no result. How thick the ice accumulated in the bottom of my heart is. There is no complaint but sadness. I have been used to bearing it in my heart for many years and can’t tell where the pain is. People always have a wish, and there is hope if there is a wish, no matter whether it is good or bad. It was my dream to start the operation. Although my dream was broken, I finally had a dream of my own. My friend gave me the origin of my dream. Without your help, my dream did not begin. I dared to dream, which showed that my life had not stopped. This is what I must be grateful for. I will not regret, nor will you regret the friend you know. Believe me! I still can walk. This just adds a strong color to my life experience! Maybe it’s white, maybe it’s black, and more is color! After three or more years of experience, in fact, I can be calm when facing anything. But last night, my heart was still in a mess, and the waves were surging. For more than ten hours, the blockage in my heart almost suffocated me, and the grief and anger in my heart made me muddle along. I know that the reason for all this belongs to what the elder sister of the white class said. On the way to send the partner home, her wife called, so worried. As soon as the car arrived at his house, his wife and children all welcomed him. There was a sense of anxiety on his wife’s face. I clearly saw the feeling of meeting each other after the great disaster. At first, I was not so deliberate. On the way to send my elder sister back, she said, “Look, little tang can still have mother and daughter to greet her when she comes home. Maybe she has already prepared the meal, waiting to go home to be shocked. I said unintentionally, listening to the intention. My inner defense line suddenly broke the dike, and the sad sadness hit my whole body like a tide. I felt that the legs of the driver seemed to have been stiff, holding the elder sister to the gate of the community. I didn’t plan to drive tonight because of this. I went home early and had a rest. But now, I don’t know the way home, driving on the road without purpose. I turned a blind eye to the passengers waving by the roadside. I knew that my mood went into the most decadent. I also realized that I was no longer myself. The surging sadness and hatred in my heart depressed my pubic field and went back and forth to my whole body. Yes, if it is me today or something tomorrow, who can accompany me and give me tenderness. I know myself best. At this moment, I can no longer comfort me with my beloved words and music. My heart is too messy. My elder sister asked me if I could go home. I said I didn’t want to go back. I don’t have the courage to buy drunk again, because the loneliness and desolation after drunk are more sad. I also want to find my familiar friends to drink with, and I don’t want my friends to see my decadence and loss. I always think I am strong. Tonight I want to indulge myself, degenerate my soul, and don’t want to stick to it any more. Once, one of my close friends said that I liked to escape, but actually it was not. When people broke through the last line of defense in psychology, it is often easy to make actions that you don’t even know. Last night was so depressing that I obviously felt that the air also became an external force squeezing my heart, which made me decadent. I don’t want to do anything. I just want to immerse myself in a strange environment, a strange person, or even a sluggish environment, get drunk and get a little bit of peace in my heart. A little brother took me into the KTV opened by my friend. He had no passion but coolness. Sitting in the box filled with dirty air, the harsh music had no sense of beauty. I didn’t want to sing. I just wanted to drink, one Cup after another. All the people present were a little scared, as if it was not wine but water. I want to get drunk in the dim light. I ordered goldfish and wooden fish. Through the lyrics, I joked that one day, wooden fish asked goldfish, “Are you at ease when you swim around all day? What about me, what is the reason for being knocked around day and night? Goldfish said, life is just different. There is also a song “Let’s start again” written by Liu Huan. I like it very much. Yes, just as the lyric says, I must come again for my beloved relatives. I am for my children. I have a habit of drinking. I must be the happiest or the most frustrated. I can bear how much I drink. I am most afraid of drinking when my mood is dull. From the box to the HA Street, it was crazy. I didn’t know myself. I didn’t think I am myself. The sound of the disco is vibrating, without any passion to beat down to the dance floor. It is still drinking. The cold liquid still cannot wipe out the melancholy and sadness in my heart. Looking at those young men and women around, I dare not say that their lives are not wonderful. At least they live in their world. Can I? I said, I can, but I can’t. I’m afraid I can’t find myself again. Should I be grateful to a woman accompanying me last night? I said, I don’t know her, nor does she know me. Everything will be forgotten after waking up after drinking. I don’t need any scruple. The numbness and impulsion of alcohol are easy to derive instinct and lose myself. I won’t find a fig leaf for myself, but I didn’t do anything. I don’t think I am pure, because I am still a man. I told the woman that if she didn’t become a Buddha, if she became a demon, it would be a simple step, but I didn’t want. That woman sent me to the community, I will never see you again, and forget everything. Stumbling, I saw two elder sisters brushing their cars at the gate of the community. My car was also cleaned there normally. I was very familiar with it. I used to pick up the water gun and spray it out with my strength of drinking, still shouting in my mouth, washing me, washing me, wet my body, wet my thinking.

Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the snow in spring

Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring…

Waiting

Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. Maybe because of a certain commitment, or because of a certain…

Be good at listening to different voices and opinions

On October 6th, I published a travel essay: “beautiful autumn scenery”, which was obtained by many literary websites…

Read The Bridges of Madison County

“When the white moth spreads its wings, you can come to me at any time”. I think, if I am a man, be accepted…

From today on, I want to be happy

I read “the biography of Hulan River” long time ago, and I remember that I was really in a heavy mood for a long time. Which characters caused me…

Sick time

I sneezed one after another these days. I said someone was reading me and others said I was sick. Finally, the doctor also said I was…

Wandering

It was late in autumn, and the dew became white frost. The moon in the sky was cold and high. Why wasn’t it as bright as a silver mirror as the hometown? The lonely moon faces the shadow and raises a toast to invite him. Only the breeze drags the candle light, and the white hair before the forehead is lightly accompanied by snoring until the dawn. The Wild Geese raised their wings and fought each other. They flew south by the autumn sound. The louvers were depressed, the cold branches were shaking down, and the wind rose. The horn of the funeral was already blowing, and the purr was not stop. The withered and yellow leaves, driven by the wind, gave off the return of teams of people. When the wild goose stepped on spring, the tree had already been Ye Fei, but he had no time to take care of it. Year by year, autumn came to spring. Who would think that this rule was actually a wandering without leaving or leaving? The winter is coming, the snow is falling, the bluestone is covered, and the Red Plum is frozen for three feet; On Wangxiang Road, it is hard to find a ticket to cry alone, and it is impossible to go all over the world. The long luggage rack is the exhibition platform for luggage. The old migrant workers, dirty black sleeves and ink collar, gave off the taste of diligence and frugality; The big scars on the fine lines, the thin face and the rickets body are the marks of hard work; simple luggage and crude words are full of years. The tired eyes couldn’t be closed all the time. The harsh crying came from the side, and the dark face smiled slightly. The noisy child, do you know the direction of this train? Do you know that the journey of life will be a bitter wandering? Bright lights, dark nights and sleeping people are wandering from north to south along the train. With a loud cough, my wife always asked me to give up smoking, so I ‘d better accommodate her. Although it was good, she gave me a home after all, and she had to listen to what she said. With a home, even if they are separated from thousands of mountains and rivers, they are still wandering with concerns. The crowd, the bag on the shoulder has never been so heavy, the heart of returning home has never been so eager, step by step, full of joy, with the joy of going home. Closely following the stream of people, walking in the narrow passage, noisy voice filled my ears. The ticket gate was near, as if it was just around the corner. After a long walk, it seemed that there was still a long distance. Suddenly Looking back, it was full of people. This journey turned out to be wandering, a long wandering because of joy. Cars that can’t reach the end, ships that go down the water, planes that go straight into the sky. It seems that the world is also going through a wandering and heading for the future.

Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the snow in spring

Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring…

Waiting

Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. Maybe because of a certain commitment, or because of a certain…

Be good at listening to different voices and opinions

On October 6th, I published a travel essay: “beautiful autumn scenery”, which was obtained by many literary websites…

Read The Bridges of Madison County

“When the white moth spreads its wings, you can come to me at any time”. I think, if I am a man, be accepted…

From today on, I want to be happy

I read “the biography of Hulan River” long time ago, and I remember that I was really in a heavy mood for a long time. Which characters caused me…

Sick time

I sneezed one after another these days. I said someone was reading me and others said I was sick. Finally, the doctor also said I was…

Always think of home

Spring elimination snow

Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring…

Waiting

Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. Maybe because of a certain commitment, or because of a certain…

Be good at listening to different voices and opinions

On October 6th, I published a travel essay: “beautiful autumn scenery”, which was obtained by many literary websites…

Read The Bridges of Madison County

“When the white moth spreads its wings, you can come to me at any time”. I think, if I am a man, be accepted…

From today on, I want to be happy

I read “the biography of Hulan River” long time ago, and I remember that I was really in a heavy mood for a long time. Which characters caused me…

Sick time

I sneezed one after another these days. I said someone was reading me and others said I was sick. Finally, the doctor also said I was…