Month: April 2013

Embroidered

[Introduction] all the songs collected in it are Jay’s songs, the voice squeezed out from the lips and teeth, with slight sadness and a little loneliness. The artistic conception is distant and boundless, just like the Everlasting blue and white porcelain, standing in the bustling downtown, lonely and cold out of a different kind of youth.

I have been thinking about how to survive the long summer vacation. I think I am really a bitch. I feel uncomfortable when I am idle. So I thought of embroidery. I went to the store to choose embroidery that day. Looking at the framed finished product, I couldn’t help admiring to be stunned. How delicate the dense needlework should come from, and how exquisite it can be described! I like the red rose embroidery very much. The magnificent color is warm, full and romantic. If you hang it in the bedroom and have a look at it before going to bed every day, it must be very eye-catching. It’s time to choose by yourself. But after a round of shopping, I couldn’t get started. Maybe I was too unfamiliar with embroidery. So I asked the landlady to give it to the staff, hanging it in the living room, which was a little elegant and easy to embroider. After thinking a little, she drew one of the numerous embroideries. That is a blue-and-white porcelain bottle with a vigorous plum blossom on it. The color is slightly monotonous, and the position of blue and white porcelain is emphasized too much. The landlady said that this blue-and-white porcelain bottle was very beautiful, simple and elegant, and it was most suitable for the atmosphere in the living room. OK, that’s it. I didn’t care about the content at first, and I just wanted to feel the mood of embroidery. Thinking of such a picture of plum blossom embroidered by myself, hanging in my own living room also has a special charm. Although the position of blue and white porcelain is heavier than that of plum blossom. But, whatever, I like the process rather than the result. I have been embroidering these days. Firstly, divide the cloth into several equal cross squares, and then draw the outline according to the figure. Counting those dense pinholes one by one, even if one is wrong, it will affect the effect of the whole picture, so we can’t tolerate any carelessness. The blue patterns are intricate and tangled together, and there is no rule to follow at all. In order to highlight the effect of light and shadow, you have me in the lines that are close to each other and slightly different. It’s hard to make such a delicate division of labor for me, a man with thick lines. I don’t know how many brain cells are bleeding in the battlefield, but there is no return. Then there is embroidery one by one. If drawing is difficult, you will know how difficult it is to embroider. I often sit for a few hours, but this record is very small. I guess this embroidery will certainly exhaust my leisure for a summer vacation. If it is sold for money, it is estimated that it can be sold for several hundred yuan. If you pointed at it to support your family, you might have been starving for several times. Think about why it’s so hard, and work hard to do these meaningless things. Is it true that there is a tendency of self-abuse? My son will always appreciate my works and then praise them. I laughed at his young age and even learned to flatter him. He said it was not flattering, but sincere. He admired my mother’s perseverance. I listened very comfortably. Then he talked a lot about the truth of life until his son ran away without a trace. Put away the embroidery in the evening, and listen to songs while cooking with the headset. All the songs collected inside were Jay’s songs, the voice squeezed out from his lips and teeth, with slight sadness and a little loneliness. The artistic conception is distant and boundless, just like the Everlasting blue and white porcelain, standing in the bustling downtown, lonely and cold out of a different kind of youth. As well as a distant wind, you need to raise your head and stop looking up, and full of desolation, presumably the embroidery must carry too much emotion and spirituality of the embroider, such as every article you write. And what did I embroider into my blue and white porcelain bottle?

Like (prose editor: yuiran) the snow in spring

Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring…

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Lovely ㄨ fillip confidante old

Lovely finger old beauty Lovely finger there is no wall that cannot be attacked, only the atrium that cannot be entered; There is no injury that cannot be warmed, only the supremacy that cannot be replaced!

Lovely finger I have never handled your prosperity in the fleeting years, and you will not touch my elegance in the world of mortals! Just a finger of quicksand passed by, and the charming flower covering my shoulder fell all over the ground!

Lovely finger you are loved by someone, and you have already said goodbye to the future of war and chaos; I am waiting for your love, and I have already forgotten the vicissitudes of life; We have never loved each other, and have already been wrong in the Sea of Love! Looking back again, it seems to be the autumn of others. What do you do with me! If you blame you, but you are still sad, why should you be tender! Lovely finger I left Nine love to recall once; Another one is that I hate you and say I am cruel! Lovely fingers should be accurate to men, cold to speak, ruthless to let go! Lovely we were all right or wrong that year. We also loved each other, but we still split up. Were you sad or what happened? My heart hurt, but I still laughed.

Lovely finger life is a net, which lives in my heart and your room, but it never lives in my heart at the same time!

Lovely ㄨ fillip

Lovely finger in love good impression and curiosity made you surrender, is it OK or do you know the current situation?

Lovely finger in the past why didn’t you die in the past memory memory how can you have face to make me recall

Lovely fingers at the two ends of the life, can’t make a shore! The offshore flowers are blooming but not ending!

Lovely finger if you don’t appear in who has seen me since the day, then how dare I appear in who I have seen your mark!

Lovely finger study has not yet been completed, the little girl still needs to struggle!

Lovely fingers don’t say love as love, don’t say love as love, your love and love are enough for us to fall in love for a few days?

Lovely fingers some people love it as if they return to their hometown, but that is a miracle!

Lovely finger I save your homepage as my bookmark, but I will never enter the page of your personal center, yes, it is a little distance…

Lovely finger love! It will make people humble. Why do you make things worse! Are you too young? Or is it beyond my control? Lovely finger you ruined my youth, I ruined your world of mortals, is it equal? There are so many Lovely people who are rude, and how many are infatuated? But if you count me as a Lovely finger, can you sometimes turn around and walk away, wash away the dust, and whether you can’t bear the loneliness in the end, so I would rather endure the Lovely fingers and suddenly think of what you once said to me: we should get used to having no future for each other. I felt very harsh at that time, but now I am numb and Lovely fingers and don’t move! Let me like you for a while, I will leave immediately, and I will not disturb you for too long! Lovely finger love is not to watch food and eat, can’t let you-I am so far-fetched! Whether a man is successful or not can not be based on how many women are willing to turn back for you, but on how many women you will remould themselves! Lovely ㄨ fillip that innuendo words, that refused to want to welcome charming, that humble humble, you undue! Lovely finger I know enough! Understand your reluctance! Lovely fingers too many regrets always make me hesitate to make up for it. In the end, it was cold in front of people. Fortunately, I knew how to hide! Is the beauty of Lovely finger fireworks worth pursuing? Gorgeous Sky, lonely sky! Lovely fingers not only love one person in your life, but only one person can accompany you to get old. If you are not sure that person is the last one, why do you feel so sad, why do you fall in love with so much, save some love and leave some money for the last one! Lovely finger-to-heart love, a lifetime of Tsing Yi, eventually empty dream! The fate is gone, the West Lake, see the year from afar! Lovely finger before, after, heart is like colored glaze, tired for a lifetime! Lovely ㄨ snap your unrestrained future can have my leisurely breath! Lovely one-man show, not afraid that no one will listen, but afraid of singing to the wrong person! I am not afraid of the relentless water, but I am afraid that love is too strong! You understand, right? Lovely finger I hate her most: Do you like me, little Furong?… Little Furong, do you dislike me?… Little Furong, why don’t you ignore me?… Little Furong is talking with my sister …… idiot deskmate Lovely fingers even if you are going to lose, don’t use your previous efforts as a chip to retain! Because it is very difficult, the previous efforts are without complaint or regret, but now it is useless to force them! Lovely fingers, let alone women’s material, are men without quality! Lovely fingers before, we always described love as love because of the beginning of love; Later, we always described love as love because of being hurt; Now we can’t tell what love is, that’s because the true feelings are no longer there! Lovely fingers once I turned back without hesitation, and you turned a blind eye to me; Once I put all my eggs in one basket, and you were determined for the whole life; Once you regretted, I was as cold as ice; Once you promised, I felt cold and gray! Lovely fingers can’t see snow in winter, I can never see your appearance Lovely fingers you are a man who knows how to advance and retreat, women will retreat when they enter, women will enter when they retreat, how can they easily forget you? Lovely fingers, or let’s play! Do you want to be immortal or notorious? Lovely fingers love is not a comfort, but you push it to me alone Lovely fingers for three years, although each other has already changed seasons, but I am still so keen on pursuing your news! I know you have seen me and tried to warm me at the moment you look back, but I also understand that only one look back does not mean that I can replace your Lovely man now! It’s just that I’m tired of playing and feel painful. Finally, I’ll just find someone to make do with it! After all the love and enthusiasm are exhausted, I know how much I am. What is my Lovely friend? Is it natural and unrestrained to drink, or pour out the melancholy of your heart! Lovely fingers this is a season of falling leaves, like the heart of that year, floating and uncertain Lovely fingers used to touch the mobile phone under the table in class, but now they touch it on the table; I used to be half asleep and half awake in class, but now I can’t sleep! Lovely finger saw a sentence: life is either tolerant or cruel! I am used to the former, I am also used to the latter given by you Lovely ㄨ finger 07 double one you can still remember yesterday once more 907 you can still remember the water moon 908 you can still remember the little sun 503 you can still I remember my Lovely fingers, I have loved, loved and paid; I once hated, hated, regretted; Have I ever given you the opportunity to cherish? Or I have never put down your fault! Lovely finger no matter how poor a woman is, she must rely on herself, and no matter how poor a man is, she must not rely on her! Lovely fingers we are not ruthless people, but we can’t be our own masters! Lovely fingers even if the whole world is overturned, I will not be confused, because at least I have a love of yours to guide me Lovely fingers no matter how bright the light is, it will not stop the darkness of the night! No matter how tight the curtain was, it still shot into the confusion of the night! Lovely fingers if the next life is no longer a play and happiness is no longer a beautiful and wonderful memory, I would like to spend my whole life to repay the love that cannot be fulfilled in this life! Lovely finger you lend me your whole life, and I will spend my whole life to repay! Lovely fingers if you are destined, even if you are separated, you will meet one day; If you are not destined, even if you get along with each other day and night, you will be full of troubles! Lovely fingers can still squeeze into today’s prosperity yesterday, which is too sad! Lovely finger promise is debt, love is evil! I am in debt, and I am also greedy for evil! Lovely finger I will not forget all of you, nor will I remember all of you! Lovely fingers finally find that what I have been longing for for many years is just a dream! The elegance you have no intention to reveal in your dream makes my heart look forward to it, and you may have already forgotten that the Lovely back is my memorial arch, and I will bury the proud time for you! Lovely fingers I never dare to expect how important I am in others’ hearts. Since I choose to be ordinary, I choose to endure it, even if one day I heal myself! Lovely finger if I have left, please remember to forget me. Anyway, please remember that this is our agreement. Lovely finger I am melancholy guest in the world, knowing what to do with tears! Lovely fingers we only have this life, this is our only chip, we have to bet together; We only have this life, this is our only drama, we have to perform on the same stage! Lovely fingers memories are sad; Expectations are lost; Love is perfect because it is not completed! Lovely fingers, old beauty, old beauty, how coquettish! One-time, heartbroken horizon! Lovely finger if I really love you, even if you are playing games with me, I will play with you. You are playing with lies, I am playing with you sincerely! I mistook him for you. I am thinking about you or I have forgotten that you are Lovely. You can say that you are old and old. This year’s flower armor, who will dance with you!

Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the snow in spring

Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring…

Waiting

Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. Maybe because of a certain commitment, or because of a certain…

Be good at listening to different voices and opinions

On October 6th, I published a travel essay: “beautiful autumn scenery”, which was obtained by many literary websites…

Read The Bridges of Madison County

“When the white moth spreads its wings, you can come to me at any time”. I think, if I am a man, be accepted…

From today on, I want to be happy

I read “the biography of Hulan River” long time ago, and I remember that I was really in a heavy mood for a long time. Which characters caused me…

Sick time

I sneezed one after another these days. I said someone was reading me and others said I was sick. Finally, the doctor also said I was…

Farewell, my young partner

Hui Hui, the former best friend of a company’s gold medal salesman, called to invite me to go shopping. It was rare for us to be together. Hearing her invitation, we were very happy, so we left our husband to go shopping with her happily. Hui is still short curly hair, and the dress is also very generous: wearing a gray wool jacket with inlay, inside is a white printed T-shirt, a pair of jeans, a pair of black high-heeled shoes, wringing a small leather bag with black pattern, the appearance is no different from before. When I saw me, the smile on my face was the same as before, showing the sincere smile after long absence. Forgot what the first sentence we said when we met. They walked towards the road with a smile and a smile. I said: Where do you want to go? Hui said: Go to zhubai. I said: Then let’s take bus No. 19. Why take No. 19? It’s not enough to take a taxi. I’m too lazy to cross the road. Hui said disapprovingly. No. 19, 2 yuan is enough. I also wanted to explain. Hui smiled and raised his hands. A taxi stopped beside us. She and I got into the taxi one after another and drove towards zhubai. We got off the bus at the gate of zhubai. We thought she was going to zhubai, but she said, “go to a thousand dollars. My heart thumbs up. In my eyes, Qianjin clothing is a brand monopoly field with high female consumption. If I remember correctly, I have never visited here. I thought: I went shopping with her anyway. Therefore, she followed her into the precious clothes without saying anything. We were talking while watching the clothing shops with different decorations on both sides. It looked very casual. She walked into a shop in a leisurely walk. I saw, here of clothing suitable for 20~30-year-old women, me carry her out go: Come on, it’s not belong to our age wear. Hui Yi brushed my sign language and said unhappily: Don’t pull me, what’s the matter? You don’t wear it like this age. At that moment, I was stunned, but soon I recovered calm. I knew that the gentle stroke had already isolated us in two different worlds. As expected, in the following strolling, I was like a footman. She tried on clothes. I sat on the bench and watched her try on all kinds of clothes in front of me like watching a movie. Quiet, a little silly. I saw a middle-aged man accompanying a middle-aged woman also looking at the clothes. The woman took a fancy to a dress with black background and tried it with great interest. The man was the same as me, looking aside, From beginning to end, I didn’t hear any suggestions from men. The woman looked around in front of the mirror. After looking back at the man, she took off her clothes and left. It was estimated that the man gave her a negative expression. Suddenly I understood the feeling of a man shopping with his daughter. Men know that most of the time, women go shopping not because they really want to buy a dress, but because they want to experience a different kind of beauty and feel the amazing light in men’s eyes, of course, there is no lack of the heroic spirit of enjoying the generosity of men. Therefore, men always smile calmly, seeing more and buying less Hui are surprised why I don’t like shopping anymore. If women don’t go shopping, they will lose a lot of fun in life. You are originally a person who pays great attention to life and likes dressing up. How can you become unwilling to go shopping? I don’t know how to explain Hui’s doubts. Perhaps as Hui said: you are already old. In the past, Hui and I went shopping, ate barbecue on the street, and bargained to buy some clothes with good texture but low price in the clothing market. But now, except for the appearance, there is no change between each other, we can’t find a common topic any more. Hui said: buying clothes is to taste life. For me, clothes are just warm body. In this way, the two of them traveled out of the thousands of women’s clothes with their own minds, and went to eat at the Brazilian barbecue on Wangfujing empty-handed. This place was my choice, I wanted to invite Hui to dinner and enjoy the quiet and warm environment with her, recalling our stories. Hui rushed to buy the order. I took two pieces of food and brought them over. But she said, “You have made yours. At that moment, I was stupid again. I realized my abruptness. I sat down, picked up my knife and fork and ate it. I sat opposite Hui and I, thinking of the time when the two families were having dinner, you were eating with relish in a vegetable basin, especially the most classic conversation between my daughter and Hui has made us happy, and our hearts are still warm. Hui kept saying that the barbecue here had become Hunan cuisine, and nothing was new. I smiled and said: I want to talk to you in a quiet and warm environment, and enjoy lunch, what I want to say more in my heart is: I want to find the feeling of my girlfriend who used to talk about everything, but everything has passed. After lunch, the two continued to hang out. Hui listened to me that shopping made me understand the mood of a man shopping with a woman, and her mood became lost. She said that she would not buy clothes today, and she was in a bad mood, no matter how beautiful the clothes are, there is no feeling; In a good mood, it feels good to wear any clothes. I regretted saying this to her, but she couldn’t take it back. I think she also felt the distance between us. Maybe she wanted to ease the strangeness between us. She told me something about her friends around her, as if this could maintain the continuous journey between us. After returning home, my mind was full of scenes when I went shopping two times. I suddenly lost myself, is it because I am far away from this society or because I have penetrated the world and become simple and transparent? Many fragments flew to me like snowflakes, filling my brain and suffocating me. A few days ago, my old classmate sister Yan invited me to dinner, saying that my classmates had a gathering, but I politely refused, in the evening, she called me again and asked me to go to sing, saying that she couldn’t sing after ordering “you at the same table”, so she must let me go to sing. I smiled and didn’t agree. Sister Yan turned off the phone angrily. In fact, sister Yan and I were also high school girlfriends. When she got married, I was still helping her be the internal affairs supervisor. When she was pregnant, I happened to be studying in a technical school. She Also specially invited me to her home for a first time. The first time I ate braised chicken was what she cooked for me; for the first time, I knew that when I was pregnant, I would read more beautiful pictures of my baby. My child would grow beautiful and handsome, which was also taught by sister Yan. After 30 years’ reunion, we met again. We had many small gatherings. Sister Yan was very sincere, but I also felt that there was a deep crack between me and her. Sister Yan is very generous and generous, but I can’t be like her. I know sister Yan treats me very well, and I can feel it, but the distance between us makes me feel at ease. I remember sister Yan asked me a word: Since you have no contact with your classmates, why do you organize a reunion so actively? I told her with a smile: it is for the continuation of the past fate. Sister Yan would not understand. I actively organized a reunion because I often went back to my school and my classroom in my dreams. I went back to my classmates and played with them in countless dreams, recalling the things I had experienced during my school days, the smiling faces always lingered in my dreams. What I especially wanted to see was A. It was strange that he always appeared in my dreams, every time silently, I never say a word, but I always ask him: how are you? And he always left without looking back. There are also some classmates who are so clear. Everything I fight with them, sweep the floor and do homework is just like yesterday, and I have been separated from them for 30 years, although they are in the same city, just like that poem: I live at the head of the river, and you live at the end of the river. I think you don’t see you day and night, and drink a river together. Eager to meet again eager to say to them: Hello. Therefore, with a special feeling, I devoted myself to organizing a classmate party. However, after the reunion of classmates, when I saw the person I wanted to meet in my dream, I found that we were not the 16-year-old one. The 30-year time was just like a lesson from heaven, we have never guessed from our childhood to the strangeness of each other at this moment; Many of our childhood faces are no longer young, looking for the familiar outline faintly, and finding that the dream is broken, but the love is gone. Therefore, I tried my best to make video discs and picture albums for the reunion of classmates, and poured my deep feelings to classmates into them, just for the memory of forgetting. Then, I wish those good sisters who buried everything deep in my heart and the literary world often get together. I don’t know why, and I can’t find that kind of feeling of unity. I never thought that I was a literati. Although I also wrote words, my words had nothing to do with literature, and those so-called literary scholars also disdained my words. That’s it, I traveled on the edge of words, but I couldn’t find my own belonging, just like a lonely journey in the end of the world. Who could understand the pain? Therefore, I tried every means to escape, but I couldn’t give up a sincere friendship. Secondly, after each gathering, they just played mahjong, and every time I left alone for more times, I lost my interest in participating in the gathering, I felt that I was at a distance from them. I met Sister yuan for a period of time last year. She invited me to sing on the mountain of the youth palace. I went there several times, all of which were old men and women, I tried to integrate myself into it, but I couldn’t do it. After several times, I chose my colleagues in my home company to let me join their dance team and dance in the square every night, I agreed happily, but when I walked to the square, I saw those elder sisters, my feet were like nails, and I couldn’t move at all, I said to myself again and again: go and dance with them. However, as if the feet were welded with iron nails, they could not take that step. In the end, I had no choice but to go back and live a life of dancing alone at home every day. Pieces of them clearly stirred in my mind. I was an alternative in my friends’ eyes, while they were in my heart, it becomes an eternal memory. Am I sick or have I been abandoned by the society? Think about my world carefully. I buy food and cook every day, sit in front of the computer in my spare time, knock my favorite words and sentences, and calculate maths that others cannot understand, traveling in the ocean of Mathematical Olympiad in primary school and mathematics in junior high school. I welcomed my students on Saturday and spent a happy weekend with them. When chatting, I chatted with the children in the vast open space, with pure faces and eager eyes. I swam in this world, simple and pure. Maybe there is my dignity and value in this world. People like a thing, which must give her pleasure or sense of value. Maybe it is the habit of being alone at home these years? Aloof deserted? Think about a full 7 years, I keep daily Farms home two-point life, a cold computer screen, I became with the outside world all, and my students. I gave them lessons and enjoyed it very much. It was the only time that I could communicate with people face to face in a week. Perhaps I am used to loneliness. Loneliness is a kind of animality, which is an antibody generated when the desire originated from the heart is incompatible with the reality. When I sorted out these fragments and emotions quietly, my heart was filled with sadness. I knew that my former friends and girlfriends had become friends in my memory, those past years will never cross the river of my soul and return to the dream of youth. Goodbye, youth partner! The dream is broken, so I can look back. Farewell, the youth partner in my dream. 2011-11-5

Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the snow in spring

Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring…

Waiting

Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. Maybe because of a certain commitment, or because of a certain…

Be good at listening to different voices and opinions

On October 6th, I published a travel essay: “beautiful autumn scenery”, which was obtained by many literary websites…

Read The Bridges of Madison County

“When the white moth spreads its wings, you can come to me at any time”. I think, if I am a man, be accepted…

From today on, I want to be happy

I read “the biography of Hulan River” long time ago, and I remember that I was really in a heavy mood for a long time. Which characters caused me…

Sick time

I sneezed one after another these days. I said someone was reading me and others said I was sick. Finally, the doctor also said I was…